If The Wind Goes Where You Send It So Will I
I was happy, wasn’t I? I was a new age spiritual healer and teacher with a thriving global soul centre based in Sydney, offering courses, sessions, and products with the goal of self-actualization. I travelled internationally with my teachings and spoke on new age radio. I was the ‘creator of my own reality’, tuned into the invisible spirit realm to channel healing, spiritual guidance, and wisdom to myself and my clients. I was empowered and had purpose, by helping others to seemingly heal broken pasts and move into oneness with the Divine. My source of love and energy was “the universe”.
I felt I had control over life and access to hidden knowledge to explain all the mysteries. But after 13 years of ‘inner work’, why did I still find myself stuck in feelings of deep inadequacy, shame, unresolved grief, anxiety, and addiction? Everything had to be analysed. Moments of spiritual bliss were ultimately unfulfilling as I moved back into the reality of life. Relationships were challenged as it was difficult to be around people who had a ‘lower consciousness’. I kept searching and striving. I was simply exhausted being my own god!
One weekend, a friend invited me to church. That very afternoon, out of curiosity, I had picked up a Bible in our hotel room. So, I accepted her invitation. I was surprised by a totally different church environment to what I expected. Everyone was so warm and welcoming, and the modern worship was uplifting. As I listened to the lyrics of “So Will I”, it hit me like a ton of bricks. My heart exploded. I realised I had been worshipping creation (the universe), not the Creator.
I had got it completely wrong. I realised that He is the love that I had been looking for this whole time. I sank down to the chair and sobbed and sobbed. I felt a powerful presence of love and wholeness that was inexplicable. After dealing with spiritual energies for so long, this was completely different to anything I had ever experienced.
The preaching made so much sense. It was like a veil had been lifted. The fact that God was not a distant impersonal consciousness, but we could have a personal relationship with Him through Jesus blew my mind. I knew the Bible and Jesus was true. I was hungry, grabbed a Bible, and continued to go to as many services as I could. Within weeks, I ‘officially’ gave my life to Christ, however I believe it happened in an instant that first moment I encountered the one and only God.
I shut down my teachings and business and I was baptised in 4 months.
After being in the subjective reality of the new age, I felt God calling me to study. I jumped into a Diploma of Ministry at Morling College, receiving a scholarship. God formed me through the class content and prayer, community life, friendships and most surprisingly, through doing the assessments! It was inspiring to connect with students at different points on their journey. I really felt God walking with me the whole way through it.
I realised that studying Theology is not only for academics but for all Christians. The study grounded my faith and taught me how to approach questions and understand different viewpoints, skills I continue to use as I grow in my faith.
If you have been called to study, I encourage you to explore what Morling has to offer in Bible & Theology, Church Planting, Counselling, Chaplaincy and Education. Applications are open for July. Answering that call to study at Morling changed my life forever. I don’t need to search anymore. God has given me true freedom. I am forever thankful for the way God met me where I was. Get in touch with one of Morling’s student advisors and let God do the rest.
Morling recognises that the decision of applying for Bible College or to study from a Christian perspective is not an easy one to make. They often pray for the new generation of new students. If you have been thinking about studying, let them know here so they can pray for you and with you.
Rebecca Brown was a new age spiritual healer and teacher with a purpose, but she was constantly dealing with feeling of inadequacy, shame and addiction.